


December: Anything can happen (here and now)

by trinipedia



Series: My Xmas Secret Santa gifts [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community: spnwriterlounge, Fanfiction, Gift, Gift Exchange, Gift Fic, Gift Giving, Gift Work, M/M, Secret Santa, Wincest - Freeform, xmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-21
Updated: 2009-10-21
Packaged: 2018-09-12 09:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9065125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinipedia/pseuds/trinipedia
Summary: No you pick for me!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [**spnwriterlounge**](http://spnwriterlounge.livejournal.com/) secret santa exchange!  
>  My birthday is February 5th, I'm an aquaris, like Dean.

"I can't believe it, Sam."  
Dean's voice is bitter and rueful, as he glares at his younger brother pacing up and down in the room like a caged animal.  
Sam looks nervous and confused, as if he doesn't understand why exactly he's feeling like this.  
Dean sneers.  
"Maybe fuck her without thinking of me it's not as easy as you thought" he snaps, but Sam ignores him.  
"It's the only way" Sam hisses through clenching teeth "the only way."  
Dean snorts.  
"What are you trying to say? This is really the answer you're going to give me? You screw her because it's the only way? Only way for _what_ , uh? Enlighten me, Sammy."  
Sam just drops on a chair and stares at the wall in front of him, but doesn't say a word.  
"We're here, together, and you still act like you don't hear me, like you don't care about what I say."  
Dean clenches his fists and takes a menacious step closer to Sam.  
"We talk a lot and very often, especially since you seem to be a ruthless fan of the sharing and caring bullshit" he states "but I think I finally understood something: the truth is we're alone."  
Sam gasps, and looks crushed.  
Something cracks inside of Dean's chest, but he's too pissed off to stop now.  
"You can't keep pretending, Sam, you can't keep putting the blame on me!"  
Dean shakes his head.  
"You can't ask more of me" he murmurs "it wouldn't be fair. We're here, and we're alive, what else could we ask for?"  
Silence engulfs them for a long instant, as Dean scratches the back of his neck, suddenly nervous.  
They should have had this conversation a long time ago, but they didn't, and now maybe it's too late.  
He believes in what he has said, though: they're still alive, they are together, and in their line of work that's as much as a second chance as they can get.  
Anything can happen, here and now.  
So, Dean sighs and lowers his head, sitting on the couch next to Sam, but not close enough to touch him.  
"It's not easy living with me" he admits.  
"You're right, Sam, it has been hard even for myself."  
Sam is shaking now, his hands on his knees that are bouncing up and down, restless.  
"You know, I was probably the only one who really trusted that we were going to make it" Dean adds, sounding regretful, as Sam hides his face in his hands.  
"I wanted to believe so badly that it was possible for us to make it work, probably more than you did."  
At this Sam loses it, and starts sobbing, silently at first, then his hiccups get louder and louder, making Dean uncomfortable.  
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sam, stop crying! Be a man, dammit!"  
But Sam doesn't listen and keeps breaking in front of his older brother, like all the world has fallen on his young shoulders.  
He doesn't answer, and how could he? His sobs are violent now, and they shake his whole torso.  
Dean can't stand back and watch his brother suffer like that without doing something, so he tries to soothe him, at least a little.  
"Sam" he pleads "Sam, come on, look at me. It's ok, we-we're going to be ok, somehow. I don't know how, but we'll be ok."  
"Nothing will ever be ok again" Sam whispers in between sobs, and Dean starts getting mad all over again.  
"Dammit, Sam, I'm right here! How can you say that?! After all we've been through, after everything we saw...how can you give up hope?!"  
Sam turns his back on Dean and stands up on wobbly legs, stepping away from the couch.  
Dean is up and after him in a second.  
"Hey! Don't you dare ignoring me, you son of a bitch!" he shouts, and punches him.  
Or at least, he tries to punch him.  
He can't, because his fist just passes through Sam.  
Dean freezes, in shock, and stares as Sam puts a hand inside his shirt and takes out-Dean's amulet.  
"I'll bring you back" he hisses, his eyes closed and his fingers wrapped tight around the amulet "I swear to God I will. And then we'll talk, get it all in the open and everything will be alright."  
As Sam leaves, Dean falls on his knees, realizing as he does that he can't feel the impact once he hits the floor.  
  
_Anything can happen here and now, as long as we're alive._  
  
Dean smiles bitterly to himself.  
Well, looks like that ships has sailed.

END

**Author's Note:**

>  **LUOGO:** work  
>  **UMORE:** energetic  
>  **MUSICA:** Thriller, Michael Jackson


End file.
